wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
