If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
