I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
