My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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