party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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