Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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