In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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