I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
