I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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