i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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