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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

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• (658): View more from

  Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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  Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends

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