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his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
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