She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
