Plan B is the new Plan A
I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.