I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4