I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money