Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.

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  (937): I did that thing where I cum for no reason again. http://tfl.nu/vzrl
  Replies (34) Good night (2586) Bad night (2066)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16

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  (504): Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16 http://tfl.nu/jkrb
  Replies (16) Good night (5164) Bad night (737)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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  (810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday http://tfl.nu/aiy9
  Replies (34) Good night (631) Bad night (6114)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

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  (815): You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark http://tfl.nu/4we1
  Replies (56) Good night (6173) Bad night (841)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?

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  (631): I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful? http://tfl.nu/fnv5
  Replies (21) Good night (831) Bad night (5810)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.

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  (703): I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench. http://tfl.nu/hb4t
  Replies (11) Good night (2745) Bad night (1902)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase

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  (717): You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase http://tfl.nu/khjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1596) Bad night (698)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.

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  (724): I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for. http://tfl.nu/9lin
  Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (708)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told you those kegels would come in handy one day

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  (303): If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina (401): I told you those kegels would come in handy one day http://tfl.nu/ed4f
  Replies (22) Good night (2406) Bad night (644)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...

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  (765): I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you... http://tfl.nu/t7gx
  Replies (2) Good night (963) Bad night (596)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

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  (570): Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand? (1-570): Wow. http://tfl.nu/2i6h
  Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (358)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.

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  (206): I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra. http://tfl.nu/2ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (458) Bad night (561)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I round house kicked her emotions in the face

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  (785): I round house kicked her emotions in the face http://tfl.nu/nnqe
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (473)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.

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  (248): This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone. http://tfl.nu/i8ci
  Replies (5) Good night (373) Bad night (924)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.

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  (802): I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower. http://tfl.nu/ep1t
  Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (362)

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