Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.

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  (617): a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo. http://tfl.nu/rlno
  Replies (8) Good night (987) Bad night (681)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i wish you could fill a pinata with booze

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  (307): i wish you could fill a pinata with booze http://tfl.nu/eyoz
  Replies (49) Good night (4990) Bad night (588)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

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  (843): so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor. http://tfl.nu/1pvp
  Replies (156) Good night (4855) Bad night (1143)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.

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  (405): i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me. http://tfl.nu/gnbi
  Replies (55) Good night (6088) Bad night (673)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  two words: eviction party

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  (503): two words: eviction party http://tfl.nu/l75h
  Replies (28) Good night (6206) Bad night (1021)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.

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  (617): i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here. http://tfl.nu/jd5o
  Replies (8) Good night (3343) Bad night (934)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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  (920): Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday http://tfl.nu/tp2d
  Replies (6) Good night (2858) Bad night (713)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing

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  (616): he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing http://tfl.nu/m3tl
  Replies (8) Good night (2198) Bad night (835)
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  (916): View more from California

  whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

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  (916): whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door http://tfl.nu/x1rj
  Replies (8) Good night (1116) Bad night (2061)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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  (416): DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS http://tfl.nu/59kb
  Replies (8) Good night (2080) Bad night (861)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

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  (812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1335) Bad night (714)
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  (805): View more from California

  Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next

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  (805): Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next http://tfl.nu/au7a
  Replies (1) Good night (877) Bad night (287)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?

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  (262): I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!? http://tfl.nu/rfa8
  Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (281)
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  (530): View more from California

  im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.

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  (530): im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either. http://tfl.nu/lxlu
  Replies (5) Good night (482) Bad night (262)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.

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  (615): Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car. http://tfl.nu/1hto
  Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (321)

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