so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
