Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla