I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
