SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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