I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize