i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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