I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize