Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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