I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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