It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
