Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
