porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
