I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have tasted many bathrooms
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
