My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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