I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
