In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
