You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
