Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
