i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
