i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am spending my child support on dildos
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
