Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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