The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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