I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
