Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
