saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
