He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
4 words: hood of his car
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
