I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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