I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
