Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
