I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
