I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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