just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
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I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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