Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
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the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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