you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
