Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
