hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
