Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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