Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
