He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I will pee on everything he values.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
