Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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