Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
