Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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