To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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