I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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