Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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