i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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