you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
