The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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