When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
