yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
