someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
