I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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