i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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