Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
