Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Im part way to drunk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
