Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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